It would appear to be confession time. I’ve hidden this for ages and it’s embarrassing to me, but the hiding is the problem, so I’m just going to come out with it.
I sneak food.
The most immediate instance would be yesterday. Emily is at my parents house and I was home by myself. Since our vacation this summer, I’ve been off the sugar wagon. I’ve been craving it constantly. I’ve managed to mostly resist buying the stuff at the grocery store, so usually it’s me running around the kitchen trying, in vain, to find something sweet. This is why I decided to lay off the sugar in the first place. But yesterday, after lunch, I went right to Kroger and bought a box of those yummy frosted sugar cookies. You know…the incredibly soft ones that taste like 100% pure sugar. For complete disclosure, I normally shop at Publix. I went to Kroger for 2 reasons: Kroger has those cookies, but also? They have self-checkouts. So no one else can see what I’m buying. I know…like they’d care anyway. But it’s how my mind’s working.
So, I ate them. I ate half of them when I got home and the rest that evening. That evening after Chris had gone to the library to raid and I went upstairs to read. To read and eat.
So what do I do? (That’s rhetorical. I’m not actually asking for advice.) I think my solution is going to be to cut out the sugar again. Totally and completely. Caffeine’s going with it. It’s the same thing I did when I started this back in April. It worked then. I didn’t have these cravings. I wasn’t buying stuff at the grocery store that I shouldn’t have. Sure I still wanted it, but it wasn’t such an intense craving as I’ve got going now. I’m not sure that exactly addresses the hiding food issue, but it seems that in the present and even in my past, the food that I do this with is the sweet stuff.