Posted by: wildflowerz | June 24, 2012

So leave that click in my head. I won’t remember the words that you said. A clouded mind and heavy heart, but I am sure I’ll have a new start.

Boy, I’ve sucked, in more ways than one, lately, huh?  That’s a LOT of commas for one sentence.  Yeah, anyway, I’ve sucked at the dieting and exercise thing.  I haven’t been to WW in the past two weeks.  I’ve cycled through anything I could think of to motivate me, but there’s something wrong in my head that just isn’t letting me succeed.  I don’t mean it’s something beyond my control.  It’s totally in my control and it’s totally all on me.  But there’s something I just can’t get through and I don’t know what it is.

So, for the gazillionth time, I’m trying again.  Every time I think about how I’m starting over again, I can’t help but feel shame.  But logically, as long as I keep starting over and not completely give up, I’m succeeding in some way.  I mean, I’m still at my lowest right now.  All through this past downfall, I managed to stay relatively the same.  But if I keep going that way, I’ll eventually start gaining.  But even if I keep screwing up and starting over, I’m still going to be better off.  So, here we go again. 😛

So, I had a few things I wanted to blog about and in typical Jenn fashion, I’ll probably post it all today instead of spacing it out.  😛  I’m trying a few fitness apps that I want to eventually review.  I thought I’d blog a little about organization too.  And I’ve found a few products lately I like that I’d also like to talk about.  So, we’ll see.

Some of that relates to the diet and exercise.  The app, obviously.  I did find a FABULOUS Groupon today.  $25 for a six month membership at a local 24 hour gym.  $25!!  That’s crazy!  I hope there’s not a catch, but I read all the info and it doesn’t seem like there is.  That fee includes unlimited classes and one session with a trainer.  You have to activate it before 1/9 or something.  I figure I’d wait and start it when Em goes back to school.  That’s just over a month from now.  If I did it now, I’d have to go in the evenings and I DEFINITELY know that I won’t make it.  So to maximize the benefit, I’ll wait.  I’m pretty excited about it.  It’s not the closest gym, but it’s on the way to the library and not too much farther than our closest.  It’s also not one of the mega gyms (like Gold’s or LA Fitness), but I’ve never much cared about that anyway.  So yeah.

For the food portion of the program, I’m still doing WW.  I’m absolutely going on Friday.  I’m making out a spreadsheet (I know, me?  Really?  :-P) of a bunch of food ideas/recipes with their points value so I can just pick and choose easily from there every week.  That way, it’s easier to look at and edit when it’s time to plan my meals for the week.

We’re doing pretty well otherwise.  Em’s with Chris at Six Flags for the third weekend in a row.  We’re hitting the pool pretty hard.  Our HOA’s doing these dumbass rules that are annoying and just pissing most people off.  We have a lifeguard on Saturdays and they suck the fun out of the entire experience.  It annoys the hell out of me that we have parents who can’t be bothered to parent their children, so we now have to spend HOA money for a lifeguard.  Of course, it’s only on Saturday and those parents are there most every day, so I’m not sure how much help it will be.  They also want to ban alcohol.  From what I understand, it’s our asshole HOA president who wants to do it and he NEVER comes to the pool.  Gah.

I had an interesting convo with another mom yesterday.  I’m sure you remember me moaning again and again about this horrible little twit girl that Em used to be friends with.  She’s the one that would bring friends to the pool and be mean and exclude Em, but when she was by herself, she wanted to play with her.  Well, last summer and this summer, we almost never see them there.  I was very happy about it.  This mom is also the one we ran into last fall at the school open house.  Her middle daughter had Em’s teacher and she said she liked her a lot, etc.  But the teacher was standing there when she said it.  So we had a different experience with that teacher and I wanted to ask her if she really thought that or she just said it ’cause the teacher was there.  She was at the pool yesterday so I did ask her and we talked for a while.  I can’t even make this next shit up:  She actually sat there, moaning about how her youngest daughter was being picked on and excluded from these two other girls in our neighborhood who are best friends.  When they’re apart, they’re fine to her, but when they’re together they pick on her kid, etc.  Seriously?  Her kid did the same thing to Em!  Gah!  I just couldn’t believe she was sitting there telling me this crap with a straight face.  I have to think it’s her kid.  The two girls she’s talking about were in Em’s 1st and 2nd grade classes (separately) and Em plays really well with both of them, either together or separately.  Yes, they tend to really stick together instead of playing with other kids when they’re together, but it’s not always like that and even when they do, they aren’t ugly to anyone else…they just play by themselves.  So, yeah, there that.  😛

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