I went shopping again today. It wasn’t pretty.
I went to Target first. A friend had recommended Old Navy’s board shorts as an alternative to a skirted suit. Once I looked them up and realized that they weren’t what I was thinking at all, I decided to try them. But I thought I remembered Target having some too and since I needed some stuff there, I went there first. I also found a bottom with a longer skirt and tried another halter swim top. Even though most of their clothes in the “regular” section go up to XL, they do not in swimsuits. Fuck you too, Target. I did determine that while I’m in a 16 jean and Large top at Old Navy, I’m definitely an 18 bottom and XL, if not XXL, top at Target. I picked up a few other things to try on, but there wasn’t much interesting that I hadn’t tried on the other day. The swim bottom wouldn’t go past the BOTTOM of my thighs. We didn’t even begin to reach hip area. The swim top was okay, but a bit smaller than I’d normally like. A size up would have been much better. It was also much less sturdy than my old ones from Torrid. The shorts, I could get on, but they were omg horrid. WAY too tight and WAYYYYYYY too short. /shudder On the plus side, I did find a cute pair of jean capris that I picked up for when it finally gets warmer (It snowed here yesterday in the morning and most of today. I live in GEORGIA!). Also on the plus side, I was also able to finish up Em’s Easter basket. As usual, I went overboard. I’d previously gotten her three cute tees with matching shorts from Old Navy. At Target, I got her Rise of the Guardians, Monster High sunglasses, MH & 1D summer pjs, Cadbury Eggs, Easter KitKats, nail polish, a nail art pen, and a teeny pack of Lego Friends. I also picked up Les Mis for myself. 🙂
Can I digress for a moment and pat myself on the back some? (Hopefully not prematurely!) Cadbury Eggs are my favorite candy EVER. EVER. I love them. In years past, it would not be a shocker for me to go multiple times to any place that had them and pick them up and nom, nom, nom them. Those tiny eggs are 4 Points + EACH! This year, I’m happy to say, that I’ve not bought them at all. I’ve mostly done this by trying to ignore them. It helps that my grocery store doesn’t usually have them (even though they’ve got all the other Easter stuff) until a week or so before Easter. No idea why, but thank you Publix. At Target, I usually try to just look the other way when I have to pass them. I don’t really go anywhere else that has them. My plan, when I did relent and think about the damn bundles of evil chocolately, sugary goodness, was that I’d get a 4pack close to Easter and put 2 in Em’s basket and have 2 for myself. That’s still the plan. Now I will commence trying to forget that they’re in her Easter basket, hidden in the closet.
Now on with the rest of the shopping trip. I went on to Old Navy to try on their shorts and swim suits. What the hell, Old Navy? I tried on some one pieces and evidently, if you wear an XL, you must be 7 feet tall because there was gobs of extra fabric in the crotch area. /shudder I looked for the most modest bottoms they had, which were the fold over top ones, to try on with a tankini top. Those bottoms are way smaller than they look on their website. I ended up trying on this top because it was the ONLY tankini top they had that was within arm’s reach. The rest were all up so high you had find an employee to get them down for you. The top looked okay, but nothing special. So, on to the board shorts. I tried them first in an XL. Those were too big, but not grossly so. They also have a drawstring at the front, so you can cinch it some, so they could have worked. But they’re kinda billowy and draw attention to that flab of a lower belly that I’m trying to hide. I tried a Large too, but it was too tight and too short. Ug. Also, all their board shorts are in specific color combos. So unless you buy your suit there, it’s going to be hard to match the colors. I mean, can’t they just do a basic black? No, it has to have a pink stripe up the side! Still, I’ll probably keep these in mind if I can’t find something else. Though none of the basic suits I’ve found without skirts have looked anywhere near okay so far, so it’s not looking good. Still, fingers crossed for Torrid. Anyway, they were having a dress sell at Old Navy and had some new ones since I was in even last week, so I tried some. Most of them are flowy, but tend to kinda end up clinging and showing that lower belly roll that no one wants to see. Ug. I did find one that was pretty cute. It was this one in pink. The way the stripes were made it perfect. The top has regular horizontal stripes, making my boobage look bigger, which I need. On the bottom, the stripes kinda curve down at the sides, making me look smaller. Also? Billowy enough that it didn’t cling. But the freakin’ cap sleeves!!!! Curse you Old Navy! However, I thought, I can work with this. They also have those short, 3/4 length sleeve sweaters. A white one would look adorable! I try it on and it’s SUPER thin…which is good because I get really hot. But it’s so thin, it’s practically transparent and you can see my striped dress underneath and it just REALLY didn’t look good. I ended up leaving with nothing, I was so annoyed. Oh, they also have these cute new eyelet dresses that are cut a lot like the one I just got at Target. On sale! So I tried on a 16, which was the largest they had. The top was entirely too big. Like, baggy. So I tried on a 14. THAT one I couldn’t even get over my torso UNZIPPED. GAH! It was not a good shopping day in the least!
So to end on a positive note after all this bitching, I snapped a pic of the dress I did get at Target on my earlier trip. I got a short, 3/4 length sleeve black sweater to go with it. 🙂