Posted by: wildflowerz | May 10, 2013

Who the hell could be calling me? I can’t answer that, I’m tying a pig stomach into a skeleton.

Starting Weight: 239.2
Current Weight: 177.0
Weekly Change: +1.6
Total Loss: 62.2
4th and Final Goal: 89.2 (150lb Goal Weight)
Daily Points Allowance: 26
Activity Point Earned Last Week:  50
Weekly Points Used Last Week:  34

It sucks to be right sometimes.  I knew this was coming.  My last couple of weeks have been horrible.  I’ve been hungry NONSTOP and felt seriously out of control with the food.  I don’t know how to fix it either.  This is the same problem I always have and I’ve never found a solution.  I’ve trying combining different types of foods and all that stuff they recommend.  I’ve tried drinking water when I’m hungry and that really doesn’t  help.  I just don’t know.  I’m not buying any more desserty things and we’re almost out, so maybe that will help.  I just don’t know.

On the positive side of things, I managed to make yesterday a good day.  I stuck right to my points and didn’t eat anything I didn’t track.  Now to make today another one of those days.  My plan is to just take it one day at a time and make each day good.  If that doesn’t work, we’ll go to one meal at a time.  I’m pissed at myself because I can’t seem to get a handle on this.

How about some good things?  Today is the day of the month I do my measurements.  Since this time last month, I’ve lost an inch in my waist and half an inch in both my chest and thighs. Arms and hips stayed the same.  I lost 1.6lbs in the past month.  I wore two shirts this week that were laughably small to me at this time last year.  One was a Disney baseball shirt.  I think I bought it when we were first planning our trip to Disney (the one that got canceled that would have been in early 2009).  I’d ordered it in an XL, confident that it would be fine.  But it was a Women’s cut shirt and it was back when Disney’s Women’s cuts were still REALLY small (they aren’t now, btw) and I didn’t realize it.  I was able to wear that this week.  The other one is one I got when I was at my smallest.  Chris and I went to a Georgia Tech football game and I had on a long sleeve tee.  It ended up being hot that day and I was roasting, so we stopped in the school store to get a regular tee.  I remember picking up an XL, because I still wasn’t really used to my smaller size, and seeing how ginormous it was for me.  I then picked up a L, but it also seemed a bit big.  So I picked up a M and it looked like it would be just right.  It was and I remember changing beside a drink machine with Chris and another friend standing in front of me because the line to the bathroom was too long. 🙂  Well, I can wear it now.  There continues to be little things I notice too.  Like getting in and out of the car.  You know how when you open your car door, it’s got those certain spots where the door stops to stay open?  There’s one, then you open it wider and there’s another?  Well, I used to have to really suck it in and barely squeeze myself out when I could only open it to the first stop (like in a parking lot where a car was too close to me).  Now I’ve got no problem getting in and out at all.

Sometimes it’s the small things, people.

Today’s WW meeting was about mindful eating.  Basically, don’t sit in front of the tv with a bag of chips and scarf the whole thing because you aren’t paying attention.  In some obvious ways, I’m really good at this and in some not so obvious to me ways, I’m not.  I don’t bring giant bags of anything with me in front of the tv.  When I eat snacks, they’re either already portioned out to a serving, or I make them that way.  So if I snack in front of the tv, I’m eating the portion I planned.  But we do eat in front of the tv some.  On the weekends, mostly.  During the week, we sit at the table.  I almost always eat lunch during the week while messing around on the computer.  But bigger picture, I didn’t really think it’s a problem.  Again, I make my meal and what’s on my plate is what I eat.  So it’s not like I’m going to over-eat more than I planned for, you know?  But I do eat really fast.  I scarf stuff down and really don’t take the time to enjoy it.  Mostly, the kind of stuff I can eat in bulk is not stuff that’s all that tasty to me anyway.  So it’s more of a food for fuel thing.  Maybe that’s the problem?  I don’t know.  I do try new things.  We usually have at least one new recipe every week.  This week, we tried Sesame Chicken.  (For the record, it was fine, but REALLY nothing special.)  But most of the stuff I end up trying just aren’t good.  The best I can usually hope for for most of them is “it’s fine.”  (See above Sesame Chicken.)  I rarely find something that I just really LOVE.  So, it’s not like I’m not trying with that.  I don’t know.  The mindful eating thing is the habit for the entire month, so I’ll give it a shot with trying to do things like putting your fork down between bites and/or drinking  a gulp of water between bites.  It certainly can’t hurt anything.

Em had her soccer tournament last weekend.  Miserable.  It rained almost the entire weekend.  Their first game was 8:30am on Saturday.  It was raining a lot and really windy and cold.  The girls were freezing.  They played pretty well, considering, but they still lost.  We went home and took warm showers and Em had some hot chocolate.  About an hour or two after that, she threw up.  Twice.  A couple hours after THAT, she was fine.  No clue.  They had a 3:30 game too that day, but since she was sick, we weren’t going to let her go.  They ended up canceling the game anyway.  Our idiot soccer club decided that to make up the missed games from that afternoon, everyone had to be at the fields at 8am Sunday and the missed games would be decided by PKs (Penalty Kicks:  each team gets a goalie to defend and they each get 5 shots on goal.  Highest score wins.)  So, while I get doing the make-ups that way, they also decided that all the games scheduled for that day would also be decided by PKs.  So this soccer tournament ended up being one game and two “games” of PKs.  It was still raining on Saturday morning.  We got there at 8am, but even though they were going in order and Em’s game was one of the first canceled, they didn’t get around to doing their’s until 9am.  They lost.  Not only that, but the other team were little shits and were making fun of our goalie.  See, the thing is, that the team that they “played” were tied with us for last place anyway.  So, no matter what, they still would have played them for the consolation game at the end anyway.  So being there at 8am make zero difference.  So, after that, they’re both still in last place, but they’ve got the consolation game to do.  Which is going to be PKs.  But instead of just continuing on with all the games to minimize the amount of time everyone had to stand in the rain, they decided that the games that were scheduled that day would go on at their previously scheduled time.  So we had to stand around for ANOTHER hour to wait for the 10am “game” time.  We hung out at the concession stand and when we got back over to the field at 10am, the refs didn’t have them on the schedule and had no idea what they were talking about.  None of it mattered anyway and it was just some stupid PKs, so the two teams just grabbed a goal and did it on their own.  The other team won again and we all went home.  See, even most of this wouldn’t have been so bad, but the previous weekend, they canceled ALL the games for the entire day because it was supposed to rain.  Our game was supposed to be at 1pm, I think.  They canceled the entire day around 8am.  It didn’t actually start raining until 4 or 5.  They evidently got a lot of complaints, because they came back and said that the company that maintains their fields makes that call and it was out of their hands.  Bullshit.  If that were the case, there’s no way they would have held the tournament.  The fact is that you have to pay to be in the tournament and if they had to cancel it, they’d have had to refund the money and they sure as hell weren’t going to do that.  Not only that, but cynical me suspects that they made us wait to do the games on Sunday at the pre-scheduled time instead of going ahead so people would buy their overpriced concession stand crap.  But that might just be me.  I guess one positive is that if they had to play regular games, they would have been down at least one girl on Sunday.  Even though she committed to the tournament, she signed up for another activity and said she couldn’t come on Sunday.  We had the same activity offered and didn’t do it because we’d already committed to the tournament.  In the end, the activity wasn’t until 2pm, so there was actually no conflict with the 8am makeup and the 10am regular game, but she still didn’t show.  Another girl never showed up on Sunday either…no idea what that was about.  Ug, it’s over and I doubt we’ll do that again.  This entire season has made me question using this club again next year (even though this is our 6th season there), but we already own the uniforms and they’ve got to use them for at least another year, so going anywhere else would be expensive.  /shrug

This week was actually pretty light.  No Girl Scouts and no running club, meant just two days of soccer practice.  And the rain over the weekend meant that the Tuesday practice didn’t happen.  Their practice field is down in a hole and very wet.  Wednesday, they did a make-up game at the complex.  The weather was lovely and the girls actually played really well, though they lost again.  Em had an ortho appointment on Wednesday and got her head gear.  Again, if you know us irl, don’t mention it to her.  She’s only got to wear it at home.  Anyway, we’ve got another soccer game at 8:30am tomorrow.  It’s supposed to rain some more.  Who knows?  Next week, Em’s got field day on Monday.  Tuesday after soccer practice, Em and I are going to an Origami Owl party.  My Mother’s Day gift is a living locket from there.  One of her friends from school’s mom is doing the party.  Should be neat. 🙂  I ordered one for both my mom and Chris’s, but it’s not here yet, though I paid for the extra shipping.  Fingers crossed it gets here.  Wednesday, the girls are doing their last make-up game and that will be the end of the season.  Thursday is the yearbook signing dance and I’m taking Em and her best friend.  And a book.  And a folding chair. 🙂  Friday she’s got her GS end of the year thing at Skyzone.  Saturday she’s got a playdate here with a class mate.  Sunday’s the parent meeting for her GS camp over the summer.  Then the next week is the last 3 days of school!  Monday’s a yearbook signing party and their AR party.  Tuesday’s honors day, the eoy party for their grade, and an ice cream party at school, followed by a soccer end of season party that evening.  Then Wednesday’s the last day of school.  The Scholastic warehouse sale starts next week and goes for a few weeks, so we’ll probably go on Thursday after school’s done.  Em’s never been with me and wants to go.  Oh, our pool opens tomorrow.  Em actually doesn’t want to go yet.  I’m glad because it’s going to be FREEZING!  Anyway, you’d think that with stuff ending, it would get lighter, but it’s not!

This summer, Em’s got GS came June 3-7 and Summer Enrichment June 10-14.  That’s all she’s got.  As of now, we’ve planned no vacations.  She should be starting martial arts the last week of school, but we’ll see.  Oh, after her two camps, the next Monday she’s getting braces.  The orthodontist has told us to do 10 MORE turns with the expander while she gets used to this head gear.  You’ll be able to drive a truck through the gap in her front two teeth soon.  And I’m not sure if I never noticed it because she’s always had a gap on the top, but her bottom teeth are really crowded.  Maybe the braces will fix that?  I don’t know.  I know the headgear is to fix her overbite and the expander is to fix her crossbite.  Jeez.


  1. I’m srsly proud of you for going, and for taking the one day at a time, one meal at a time approach. I don’t have any good ideas (OBV!) but I do think you have Accomplished Amazing Things and should be proud. Hang in there and let your body adjust maybe?

    • Thanks so much! Encouragement helps SO much when it’s a bad week! 🙂

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