Posted by: wildflowerz | July 12, 2013

I hate the rain and sunny weather. And I hate the beach and mountains too. And I don’t like a thing about the city. And I hate the countryside too.

Starting Weight: 239.2
Current Weight: 172.8
Weekly Change:  +1.2
Total Loss: 66.4
4th and Final Goal: 89.2 (150lb Goal Weight)
Daily Points Allowance: 26
Activity Point Earned Last Week:  43
Weekly Points Used Last Week:  19

This is not going to be a happy post.  Last week I started tracking by hand, as well as online.  I continued that this week.  I also worked last week and this week on trying to get more veg with both lunch and dinner.  I still wasn’t perfect with that, but I did better.  Last week we had LOTS of eating out with our 4 days of day trips.  This week there was none of that.  The only “extra” eating out I had was Wednesday (or Tuesday?) when Em and I went to the mall.  I had a turkey burger.  No sides and not even cheese.  We did have pizza this week, since Em had a sleepover.  But I “Pointed” it out and for 1/4 of the Marco’s thin crust Uno, it’s 7 P+.  I counted every bit of it and every bit of the 2P+ breadsticks I had.  I added extra veg at other times.  I’ve STILL been NONSTOP MADDENINGLY hungry.  I’m hungry right now.  I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me.  But I put up with this hunger all freaking week long and did really well, sticking to my plan and I gain 1.2.  I’m not gonna lie, Marge, I totally cried most of the way home from WW.  It was all I could do to sit in the meeting and not cry.  I feel awful.  I found myself hoping that it was time for my period so I could explain away the gain and the emotional outburst, but it’s nowhere near time for that.

There was nothing all that remarkable about this week.  I didn’t over-indulge in anything.  I wrote down and counted EVERYthing that I ate.  I only ate 19 of my 49 Weekly Points.  I SHOULD have done fine.  I don’t know what the problem is.

There are two things that are messing me up, mostly in my head lately.

-I am so hungry.  I’ve tried balancing my food intake differently.  I’ve tried different combos of carbs, fat, and protein.  I’ve tried to down a bunch of water before and/or after I eat.  I’ve added more 0 point fruit and veg.  I don’t know what the hell the problem is.  It feels like I can’t get enough food to eat.  Ever.  I VERY rarely feel satiated, much less full.  I honestly feel hungry 99% of the time I’m awake.  I don’t know what to do about it and I can’t seem to make it go away.

-Exercise.  I do the best when I go to the gym, first thing in the morning.  Summer’s made that almost impossible.  I still go Saturday and Sunday mornings when Chris is home.  But the rest of the time?  SOMEthing is always getting in the way.  Some days I could go and bring Em with me to read or play quietly at a table, but she’s suddenly started sleeping later.  The things we have planned for the day are during the morning, so I don’t end up with enough time to exercise since she wakes up later.  I’ve tried exercising outside, but I have to take her with me.  She hates it and moans through the entire thing.  I end up super sweaty, but with not a great or long enough workout.  I can run on my treadmill at home, but I hate it.  I guess it’s just cheap or something, but a run on it is not nearly as good as a run on the ones at the gym and I end up not being able to do as much.  I do the Zumba game for the Kinect, but it doesn’t give me nearly enough activity points.  I tried a water aerobics class, but Points-wise, it was hardly better than sitting on my ass for an hour.  I’ve tried doing my own thing, but the pool’s usually more crowded and the results are the same as the water aerobics class.  I can’t wait for Em to get back to school so I can get back on a good schedule with the gym.  Because the summer is sucking for that.  I want to get Em more active doing things, but I just am at a loss for what to do.  She hates running with me.  She doesn’t want to try hiking.  It’s so damn hot outside that I don’t particularly want to be out there either, but I just have no ideas.

There’s my bitchy post.  I feel like crap and am so incredibly discouraged that I’m not going to continue.  Later.

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