Posted by: wildflowerz | November 8, 2013

So many times it happens too fast. You change your passion for glory. Don’t lose your grip on the dreams of the past. You must fight just to keep them alive.

Starting Weight: 239.2
Current Weight: 162.0
Weekly Change:  +0.2
Total Loss: 77.2
4th and Final Goal: 93.2 (146lb Goal Weight)
Daily Points Allowance: 26
Activity Point Earned Last Week:  25
Weekly Points Used Last Week:  16?

Yeah.  REALLY hungry this week.  I’ve been munching on crap and half the time not writing it down.  I’ve been mostly a fail this week.  In the interest in looking at the bright side, I have had more veg.  I continue to always get my water and vitamin in.  I got the healthy oils in about half the time and that’s much better than my usual.  I skipped the regular Wendy’s on Friday night and did my own thing and I ran a 5K on Saturday morning and decreased my time a good bit.  I went to the gym or exercised every day but Friday and that was my plan.

Since hopefully reflection and honesty will help me in the future, here’s what I didn’t do well…  Em’s Halloween candy called to me.  I ate too much and wrote down only some of it.  I ate entirely too many WW 2pt bars and only wrote down about 2/3 of them.  2 days I had hardly any fruit and veg.  I had 2 Diet Mountain Dews this week.  I didn’t get nearly as many Activity Points as I’ve been used to.

And it’s another month, so here are my overall stats, just for the month.  It’s not pretty.

  • Dress Size:  Same
  • Hips:  Gained 1/2″
  • Arms:  Lost 1/2″
  • Waist:  Gained 1/2″
  • Bust:  Lost 1/2″
  • Thighs:  Same
  • Overall Inches:  Same
  • Weight:  Lost 0.8lbs

And overall:

  • Dress Size:  Down 5 sizes
  • Hips:  Lost 12.5″
  • Arms:  Lost 4″
  • Waist:  Lost 8″
  • Bust:  Lost 8.5″
  • Thighs:  Lost 5.5″
  • Overall Inches:  Lost 38.5″
  • Weight:  Lost 77.2lbs

So, there’s that.  In trying to step back and look at this logically, what’s hurting me?  Primarily, I’m hungry.  Like gnaw off my own arm hungry.  All the time.  I started trying the chia seeds on Wednesday and they seem to be helping.  I’m still definitely hungry, but I think I’m keeping the full feeling longer and I’m not feeling as crazy hungry for most of the day.  So, I’ll keep up with that and see if it holds.  In the interest of keeping myself full, I should continue to eat lots of veg even though I barely tolerate them.  To be honest, I just get tired of them.  I need to find some easy, different ways to eat them rather than just the steam micro packs with evoo, salt, and Ms. Dash.  I need to write down every stinking thing that goes in my mouth and stop lying to myself because it just hurts me.

The routine for November at WW is one that I’ve tried in the past with little success.  It’s “put down the fork and sip water between bites.”  For some reason, when we got to Chili’s, I’m REALLY good at this.  I just remember it there.  No idea why.  So, I’ve made myself a note for the dinner table and I’m going to try my best to do this one.  I’m also gonna ban the soda this week.  I haven’t been going crazy with it or anything, but I seem to be drinking more and more of it and I’m thinking I need to head that off and step back.

For the activity, I just don’t know.  I think I’ve finally gotten to the point where I’m tired of exercising so much.  But is it too much?  My goal has been to get 42 Activity Points a week.  To get there, I need to do an hour of cardio a day and at least 45 minutes of that’s got to be running.  Otherwise, I don’t make my goal.  I’ve been volunteering at Em’s school library on Wednesday mornings, so I can’t get to the gym then.  I’ve been doing some Jackie Warner dvd segments.  This week, I also ran on the treadmill.  But even on my days at the gym, I’ve only been getting 3-4 APs instead of the 7 (at least) I had in the past.  Since my weight has been stuck in the 160s FOREVER, I know it’s not that.  Really I’m just not doing as much.  I’m kind of bored.  And not getting to the gym on Wednesdays is hurting.  But nothing gives me APs like running, so I can’t figure out an alternative.  I don’t really have a solution to this one.  Should I just cut back on my gym time and make a new, lower, goal?  Or should I try and ramp it up?  I don’t know. 😦

On the exercise front, Em came home with another 5K flyer.  This one’s the first Saturday in December.  She’s so funny.  She did Running Club and didn’t care for it, but now that she’s not doing it, she wants to do every 5K they send home a flyer for.  Whatever.  We’ll build up our collection of 5K tees.  🙂

I am going to end with something positive.  I knew I was gaining this week.  I thought it would be more, but I knew it.  I didn’t want to go to WW.  But never once did I contemplate not going.  I just went.  It’s a routine.  I’ve had a sucky week and I’m really frustrated with it and myself, but I don’t want to quit.  I’m not even thinking about it a bit.  I feel lost about a lot of things and unsure of what to do, but quitting isn’t an option.   I have 16 more pounds to go.  I’ve lost over 77 freaking pounds!  That’s a LOT of weight and quitting now would just be the height of insanity.  So I’ll keep plugging away, hoping to stumble on success and hoping for some clarity.  But not quitting.  Never quitting again.

Advertisements

Responses

  1. I wish I had seen this a year ago. After I comment I’m going to see your most recent one… but I have to say – I’ve been there! I did WW and it was pretty brutal at times… AND it got really boring eating the same thing and doing the same thing. I had to be pretty creative to mix it up.. and even still (8 years later) I still get bored a lot. But KUDOS to you! You’re doing what I consider to be the hardest thing in the world… changing your entire lifestyle.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Categories

%d bloggers like this: